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'Star Wars' And The Harrison Ford Rumor: A Fan Theory In Pictures

Posted 11/6/12 11:30 am EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk

Even if Han didn't shoot first (he did), it's looking like he might shoot again: a new report suggests that against all odds, Harrison Ford is interested in making a return to the "Star Wars" universe with Disney's upcoming "Episode 7."

Han Solo

If Ford really is interested in piloting the Millennium Falcon one more time, what does that tell us? For me, it only further crystalizes a theory I've had since the "Star Wars" news first broke — that the director is going to be this guy:

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'Titanic' Star Billy Zane's Top Five Movie Moments

Posted 4/6/12 11:30 am EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, Humor, Top Five

Once in a generation, there is born a talent so great, so astounding, that it cannot be stopped. When I think back on the pantheon of actors in the world, one name tops my list...

Zane. Billy Zane.

The bad boy baldy has played some of the most crucial and instrumental roles in the great rolodex of film, gifting us with unforgettable moments that have warmed viewers' tender hearts on the coldest of nights.

With "Titanic" back in theaters, my mind is not on Leo and Kate (sorry Jack, I totally let go), but on the most inZane man on the planet. In honor of the return of his most iconic role to date, I present to you, the top five greatest Billy Zane moments ever captured on film.

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'Prometheus' Fever Dream Inspires Crazy Talk

Posted 3/5/12 1:53 pm EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk

This is going to take a while before it makes sense (if it ever does), so bear with me. But... I had a dream. Not a metaphorical dream, a literal one: all about "Prometheus," in fact!

In it I was a member of the science team sent on the Prometheus to research the mysteries of mankind’s beginning or whatever. To be honest, I really had no idea why we were there, the dream just sort of started -- something that anyone who saw "Inception" will understand.

On the planet, we found something. No, it wasn’t a crashed Space Jockey mothership filled with alien eggs. In fact, we didn’t even see Space Jockeys. But what we did find was a mysterious machine of utmost mystery and machineriness. It was massive, and was clearly Space Jockey tech. We did the only thing we possibly could do: we turned it on.

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'Escape From New York' Remake Stalls Out

Posted 7/21/11 2:19 pm EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, News

Escape From New Yorkby Brian Phares

In the words of Queen: another one bites the dust.

New Line has reportedly backed out of the proposed remake/reboot of “Escape From New York," leaving the movie in a state of studio-free limbo, hot on the heels of the recent news that “The Dark Tower” series has suffered the same fate.

The project has not been without much rumor and speculation; it has been hard pressed to find a director and names like Jeremy Renner, Gerard Butler and Josh Brolin were all thrown around to take on the role of Snake Plissken. But in all honesty, I’m not too upset upon hearing that this remake has, for the moment, been canned. Why go for the remake when there's still so much bad-ass plot potential with the currently existing Plissken?

For further proof, see below for some potential ways to capitalize on the one and only Snake Plissken.

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'Dark Tower': Universal Passes, And Here's What Ron Howard Should Do Next

Posted 7/19/11 12:47 pm EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, News

Dark Towerby Brian Phares

In news that's not exactly surprising but still disappointing, Universal has officially passed on Ron Howard's ambitious adaptation of "The Dark Tower." Deadline broke the news, revealing that Universal won't proceed with Howard's plan to adapt Stephen King's classic novels through three films and two seasons of television. Howard is free to shop the project to other backers, of course, but this could very well be it for his big "Dark Tower" plan.

It breaks my heart to hear that Howard's "Dark Tower" won't come to pass (at least not through Universal), though I am not the least bit surprised. The ambitious movie-TV-movie-TV-movie format raised my eyebrow from the very start. Not only did the math not make sense (there’s seven books to consider, not five) it just seemed like asking way too much of a viewer to divide their time between a movie series and a TV series.

Ron Howard, for what it's worth, this is how I would have done it -- and how you should too.

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'Harry Potter' And The Ridiculous Spinoff Suggestions

Posted 7/15/11 3:00 pm EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, Humor

Harry Potterby Brian Phares

With "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" making its final bow with today's big screen release, fans are surely finding themselves clamoring for more Potter. Sure, Pottermore is in the works. And sure, J.K. Rowling is inevitably writing, well, something. But even still, the fans no doubt want more "Potter," on the written page or on the screen.

So, powers that be, if you're thinking about giving us more "Potter," here's my list of five possible — and definitely not so possible — spinoffs for the series.

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Jason Statham In 'Transformers'? Here Are Five Ways To Make It Work!

Posted 7/6/11 3:27 pm EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, Humor

by Brian Phares

After hearing that Jason Statham may be a possible replacement for Shia LaBeouf as the lead in a fourth installment in the "Transformers" franchise, my mind began to race with awesome plot possibilities. Below are the first five that came to mind. Feel free to share your ideas in the comments section.

Jason Statham as... Optimus Prime?
Yes, that’s right. In some bizarre twist of fate, the Autobots have discovered a new technology allowing them to transform into humans, T-1000 style. First in line to try this new technology? Optimus Prime. Who does he decide to transform into? You guessed it. Because other than Optimus, who on this planet is more badass than Jason Statham?

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'Transformers: Dark Of The Moon': Is Michael Bay Bringing Back The Twins? [UPDATED]

Posted 5/13/11 3:17 pm EST by in Around the Blogosphere, Crazy Talk, News

TransformersUPDATE: Paramount has reached out to us and confirmed that The Twins are NOT in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." No Skids, no Mudflap, no problem. Our original report is below.

You thought you were safe. You thought it was over. You thought they were gone. But you were wrong.

Well… maybe.

Multiple reports are surfacing online that despite Michael Bay's statements to the contrary, "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" will indeed feature the two most controversial characters from the critically-ravaged "Revenge of the Fallen." I'm talking, of course, about Skids and Mudflap, better known as the Twins.

Some new photos that are allegedly from the set of "Dark of the Moon" have surfaced online, seemingly depicting an upgraded version of Mudflap and Skids. Ironically enough, these new photos first appeared just a few short hours after Bay himself took to his website and definitively declared: "The Twins are not back in T3."

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Dear Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal: Let's Meet At Will Ferrell's 'Casa De Mi Padre' Junket

Posted 4/15/11 3:04 pm EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, Humor

Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal have reunited once again for the new Will Ferrell comedy, "Casa de Mi Padre." The flick looks hysterical. Will speaking in Spanish and acting like a tough rancher and those two guys showing off their much underused funny bones should lead to many risas (that's laughs in Spanish for you Gringos).

This reteaming makes me happy for a number of reasons. One, it means that I can follow-up on that dinner that Gael owes me when we inevitably meet again. Two, it means that we get to see them in a flick together again. And, three, it means that I perhaps may get the assignment to interview them at the junket.

The last time the three of us sat in a room together, we laughed, chatted about their 2009 joint endeavor, "Rudo Y Cursi" and, oh yeah, we all kissed. It's more or less what it sounds like.

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James Cameron And Arnold Schwarzenegger Reunite, But For What Purpose?

Posted 3/23/11 11:34 am EST by in Commentary, Crazy Talk, Daily TwitPic

SchwarzeneggerArnold Schwarzenegger is coming back to acting. This we know. We also know that James Cameron is locked-and-loaded for two developing sequels to "Avatar." Throw those facts in together with Cameron and Schwarzenegger's "Brazilian adventure" and you've got… well, a whole lot of conjecture.

Let's pedal back a bit. Last night on Twitter, the former Governator posted a curious photo of himself and Cameron, his longtime collaborator through "Terminator" and "True Lies," huddled around a laptop on an airplane.

"Excited to take off on a Brazilian adventure w/ @JimCameron," he wrote. "Stay tuned for updates from the rainforest."

Schwarzenegger's tweet got us wondering — might that "Brazilian adventure" have something to do with a little planet called Pandora?

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