-- Yay "Family Guy"!! Not exactly bloggy, but entertaining. The Hollywood Reporter is hosting a three-part video of a full table read for a never-aired "Family Guy" script. The controversial subject of the day is abortion, so you can probably figure out why it never aired. Don't read, just watch. (The Hollywood Reporter)

-- Cinematical has kicked off a pretty great new running feature, "Movies I Will Never See." Contributor Monika Bartyzel wrote up a spin-off post which ponders exactly when "expressing an opinion becomes legitimate." It's actually a consideration of how personal biases inform opinion, rather than an actual questioning of whose opinions are legitimate versus whose aren't. As always, well worth the read. (Cinematical) Read more...

Buckets of blood, violence, foul language and mother-lovin' Danny Trejo aside, "Machete" boasts some serious assets in the form of its impressive ensemble cast. Some of the actors lining up for the Robert Rodriguez-produced "Grindhouse" spin-off include Robert De Niro, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson and Steven Seagal. Seriously -- Steven Seagal! The same martial arts genius that brought you "Above the Law," "Hard to Kill" and my personal favorite, "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory"! Not to mention this little gem...

Assuming that all goes as it should, "Machete" is in a position to become one of the most enjoyable ensemble films of all time. The giddier I get about the news, the more and more I think about other classic ensemble movies that "Machete" will one day measure up to. For your reading pleasure, here are five slices from the never-ending ensemble movie pie. Read more...

This video just goes to show you: when Danny Trejo asks for action, Danny Trejo gets action. Does that look like a man you want to eff with? I didn't think so. And now that Trejo will be joined in "Machete" by the oddball supporting cast of Robert De Niro, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey ("Lawnmower Man"!!!!) and Jessica Alba, everyone on the planet has to see it. It's a requirement. Seriously. I think the world might explode if we don't.

On behalf of the entire MTV News family, we'd like to wish you a very happy and safe holiday weekend. Barring any breaking stories (i.e. declaration of a Van Damme/Seagal truce), the MTV Movies Blog will go dark until Monday, December 29.

In the meantime, let us know below what movies you'll be checking out, either in theaters or at home next to a drunk uncle. Personally, I have a Yeti to catch.

With Jessica Biel soon to hit the big screen as a stripper in "Powder Blue," and Kristen Stewart doing the same in "Welcome to the Rileys," it seems Hollywood is just filled to the brim with actresses taking their clothes off to show a more vulnerable side. But as any film fan knows, this isn’t a new trend. Hence, this top 10 list: The Best Strippers On Film.

10. Erika Eleniak in "Under Seige"
Playing an ex-playmate brought aboard a battleship to pop out of its captain’s birthday cake, only to find when she does the ship overtaken by mercenaries threatening nuclear war, Eleniak narrowly beats out deserving bids by Natalie Portman (Closer) and Natalie Wood (Gypsy). As much courage as both ladies plainly exhibited in delivering their respective performances, that still wasn’t half as much as Eleniak displayed in locking lips with co-star Steven Seagal.

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It's been one hell of a year, folks. If you'd talked to me twelve months ago and said there wouldn't be room in our Bizarre Moments of '08 video for the time Steve Carell grabbed my ass, well I'd have called you crazy. But it's true. We combed through our stacks of tape and found ten truly insane incidents that beat that charming moment of sexual harassment.

The below video has it all. Val Kilmer talking dwarf sex on the set of "Willow"? Check. Steven Seagal hawking energy drinks? Yup. Rainn Wilson making fun of my sweater? Don't remind me. Here's to an even loonier '09! Enjoy.

Steven Seagal recently told MTV News that he's been looking at offers for a third installment of his "Under Siege" series, which he would prefer to be more modern, even more sci-fi. If that's the case, could there be a little room for Travis Dane, who's faked his death at least once and perhaps didn't actually die at the end of "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory"?

"He hadn't talked to me about it," Eric Bogosian, who played Dane, told us when we caught up with him at the Directors Guild Honors. "But I had a blast doing it before. It's one of the most fun things I was ever involved with."

According to Bogosian, "people still come up to me in the street" to quote Travis Dane lines back to him, "things from the movie that I don't even remember." Like, "Yeah, I faked my own death and hijacked a passenger train because I care about who you're f---ing!." Or "If you try anything stupid, federal regulations require that I kill you." Read more...

It's been sixteen years since Steven Seagal enjoyed the biggest success of his career with "Under Siege" -- one of the best offerings of the one-man action thrillers that followed "Die Hard" -- and thirteen years since its lackluster sequel "Dark Territory" signaled a slow, steady decent into the world of direct-to-video features.

But now, with the former action heavyweight looking to climb his way back into multiplexes, could a long-awaited "Under Siege" threequel be in the offing? It sure can. "There are offers and we're looking at them," Seagal told MTV News. And he even has some ideas...of a more alien nature.

"I personally want it to be something more modern," said Seagal, giving us his thoughts on potential storylines. But it's one specific angle that will probably have fans intrigued, to say the least. Read more...

When we heard that Best Buy was trotting out three folks by the name of Richard Dean Anderson, Tanya Roberts, and Steven Seagal, to promote some new Geek Squad thingamajig, it was all hands on deck at MTV News. We knew we HAD to be there. The event did not disappoint. Watch below as Steven Seagal...

--nearly ditches the event because of the lighting
--says his energy drink, Lightning Bolt, is "probably the most healthy energy drink in the world"
--discloses his plan to sell essential oils
--reveals he has no idea who Sarah Palin is
--gets agitated at the mention of Jean Claude Van Damme
--giggles

What, you thought they only had study books for Darwin? That's right, one of the most intriguing film stars of all time is finally getting his due when "Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal" hits store shelves on May 23rd.

Released by Titan Books and written by Vern from "Ain't It Cool News", the tongue-in-cheek guide covers the breadth of Seagal's career, from early hits like "Above the Law" to the mainstream blockbusters.

So with that in mind, we're proud to offer up the full chapter on "Under Siege" exclusively to MTV Movies Blog readers. That's right, get the in-depth look at Steven's finest hour as he saved Hawaii from crazies Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones. Click the thumbnails below to start reading; it's good times.

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(Read the rest of the chapter after the jump!) Read more...