'Harry Potter' And The MTV Movies Live-Blog

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Year Two: "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" (2002), Running Time: 2:41

7:50am: The movie starts with the now-trademark chimes over the title sequence. And we're back at the Dursleys. It's always the Dursleys.

7:52am: It's Dobby, sir! Dobby was a great looking effect from the first. Better looking than Mr. Dursley's mustache for sure.

7:56am: What a shame. It was a good looking cake.

8:00am: One flying car later and we've left Privet Drive. See you next movie, Dursleys!

8:01am: Harry arrives at the Burrough Burrow and it's immediately apparent that this movie, Columbus's second and last, is a step forward visually.

8:03am: Token Ginny Weasley appearance. In time, Ginny. In time....

8:04am: "What, exactly, is the function of a rubber duck?" Bon mot, Mr. Weasley.

8:05am: Traveling to Diagon Alley via Floo Powder. The best part is how mortified even the experienced Weasleys are of Floo Powder.

8:06am: Harry's first misadventure at Borgin & Burke's and Knockturn Alley. Urban Decay is such a shame.

8:07am: Herminone shows up just in time for her yearly Occulus Reparo. Also Radcliffe is suddenly a foot taller than Watson. #GrowthSpurt.

8:08am: Gilderoy Lockhart! Kenneth Branagh's one and only turn in the "Potter" movies. Magnificent. If only they'd been able to work him back in later.

8:12am: Yearly Platform 9 3/4ths scene. Fun fact: The platform is an actual Foursquare venue in London with over 3300 check-ins.

8:14am: Speaking of awesome but unnecessary social media, I should be logging these movies on GetGlue. Maybe I'll get some kind of Potter-obsessive sticker.

8:17am: Whomping Willow. One of Rowling's cleverer inventions, I think. Best part is how the flying car throws them -- and their luggage -- out, then takes off into the woods.

8:21am: Professor Sprout's greenhouse and the nearly-fatal cry of the Mandrake. Hogwarts would not do well in a more litigious 21st century America.

8:23am: Nearly Headless Nick and Colin Creevey make appearances just before the screaming red howler. Very nice effect.

8:24am: Hermione's hair looks way more styled this year. Just saying.

8:25am: "Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Me! Guilderoy Lockhart." Further enhanced by the fact that Lockhart's classroom has a portrait of himself on the wall.

8:29am: First use of the word "Mudblood" by Malfoy. Hard to take the social impact of Wizard discrimination seriously while Ron vomits slugs into a bucket.

8:33am: AAAHH SPIDERS!

8:35am: There really should have been a cool celebrity nickname for Harry, Ron and Hermione. "Harronione" doesn't roll off the tongue.

8:40am: Professor McGonagall explains the entire Chamber of Secrets back-story, setting up the conflict between Muggle-borns and Purebloods. It's a key theme of unrest throughout the series, which closely mirrors the social upheaval in 1960s America. But without the cool Rock N Roll.

8:43am: Quidditch vs. Slytherin. It's always Slytherin. Does Ravenclaw even have a team? Probably for the best that they don't.

8:46am: Malfoy totally wrecks at Quidditch. His hair is quite unfazed.

8:48am: Very nice effect as Lockhart screws up the bones in Harry's arm.

8:51am: Dobby drops house-elf knowledge. Take note everyone, this matters later on. Also, how did Andy Serkis not get that motion-capture job? Too busy with the "Lord of the Rings" series maybe?

8:54am: Branagh continues to chew the scenery as he gets totally worked by Snape in a duel.

8:58am: Harry speaks Pareseltongue to a snake. I hear in the Director's cut he actually does the Parseltongue scene as a rap song. Gotta get that version.

8:59am: OK. Second lie of the live-blog.

9:02am: Good grief, more spiders. My paralyzing arachnophobia does not agree with this movie.

9:09am: Polyjuice potion gone wrong. I know how that feels. One minute you're drinking something a friend gave you, the next you're a human/cat hybrid hiding in a washroom. Right there with you, Hermione.

9:12am: Laptop needs a charge. Had not considered this earlier. No way it lasts for the full twenty hours. Hmmm. Battery charging spell?

9:18am: Harry discovers Tom Riddle's diary. Not only do I remember all the dialogue here but I can repeat it faster than he writes it into the book. Not skipping forward, but considered it.

9:22am: Aragog origin story told in flashback. This bodes not well. Crikey.

9:26am: Quidditch is canceled? What? Just because Hermione was petrified and is down for the count for the rest of the movie? Way to overreact, Hogwarts administration.

9:29am: As Hagrid is dragged off to Azakaban Prison without a trial or any evidence whatsoever, I can hear the festivities for the ING New York City Marathon festivities outside here in NYC. 26.2 miles..... 20 hours of movies.... We've all got our mountains to climb, challenges to defeat.

9:32am: Ron & Harry "follow the spiders" into the woods. "Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies," says Ron. I agree. True story: when I read this book I could barely keep from crying during this whole sequence. Worse, yet: when I saw it in the theater, I actually stood outside in the hallway until the whole horrible Aragog scene was over. Rules be dammed, this part gets fast forwarded!

9:44am: After riding down the world's worst water-slide, Harry & Ron arrive in the Chamber of Secrets.

9:47am: Gilderoy gets his hilarious comeuppance and obliterates his own memory with Ron's defective wand. This is what Rowling does so well. Lays innocent-looking groundwork at the beginning on the story, then brings back key points at the end when they matter. More like that shortly.

9:50am: Tom Riddle reveals himself and explains the entire Chamber of Secrets story we haven't seen. Ginny Weasley is unmasked as the unwitting perpetrator, now near death. So she did have a reason for being around. Interesting. See you again in four movies, Ginny.

9:51am: It's strange Harry doesn't try the fairy tale standard kiss on Ginny to wake her up. Not that kind of movie, I suppose. Yet.

9:52am: Tom does some fancy anagram work in the air and reveals he is actually the childhood Voldemort. I confess I was surprised by that, first time around.

9:54am: Fawkes flies in with the Sorting Hat. Again, Rowling's small foundations come back big in the end.

9:55am: Riddle unleashes the Basilisk on Potter. Man, that is a really big snake.

9:59am: Down goes Frazier! I mean the Basilisk!

10:01am: Harry plunges the Basilisk fang into the diary, saving the day and inadvertently destroying the first Horcrux. Wait, what's a Horcrux? Who said that??

10:08am: Lucius Malfoy declares "Let us hope Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day." Harry, in his first real show of bravado, shoots back "Don't worry, I will be."

10:10am: Harry tricks Mr. Malfoy into freeing Dobby. The old "sock hidden in a magical book trick." Gets em every time.

10:13am: Dumbledore cancels all exams. The students will never learn anything that way, Professor!

Movie number two is done, six to go. It's onto year three!>>

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Tags Harry Potter, harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2, Live Blog