A while back Donnie Wahlberg told me he watched the first "Human Centipede" and "faced" his own fears about a psychopath who mutilates humans and makes them into, you guessed it, human centipedes. Witness his words of encouragement for yourself...
Inspired by Donnie's courage (and because Movies Blog editor Josh Wigler forced me to), I decided to "face the fear" and watch the new trailer for "The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)," which premiered online last night. I did this for all of you. Behold my real time reactions past the jump!
:11: This doesn't look like it's gonna end well. Don't let that pudgy dude sign that lease, man. Please. Don't. Let. Him.
:18: Is this over yet? I already feel queasy. Also: never rent films made by that psychopath scientist dude. Why? BECAUSE HE LIKES TO MAKE HUMAN CENTIPEDES.
:35: His mother is worried about him? So are we!
:48: TWELVE PERSON CENTIPEDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: What does that mean about your son, mom? It means your son's a crazy, crazy human… who loves centipedes, made of humans.
1:12: Think that dude's in a passing phase, huh? Oh, we've all been in that passing phase WHERE HUMANS ARE MADE INTO A GIANT CENTIPEDE!!!!!!!!!! Oh, that's right. We haven't.
1:32: Is this a perverted film, mom? WHY YES IT IS!!!!!!! And, mom, not the sexy kind. Unless you think combining humans into a centipede is sexy, which, by the way, I don’t.
1:50: That's a lot of duct tape and weapons. Someone call Benson and Stabler. STAT. I think we're gonna need a 'bus. Side note: thanks Josh Wigler for making me watch this. NOT!
Now that I've done this… you should too. Face your own fears and watch the trailer. "The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)" opens October 7. I'm only going if Donnie and Wigler are paying.
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