From the minute rumors started circulating earlier this week about an alleged Rat Pack movie starring George Clooney as Frank Sinatra and Angelina Jolie as Marilyn Monroe we smelled, well, a rat. Too good to be true? Of course it was.
Aside from the fact that the “Salt 2” talk is already cranking up (not to mention a busy schedule that includes “The Tourist” and possible turns as “Cleopatra” and “Maleficent”), the superstar Jolie casting sounded like some kind of a secret Freemason film dream to finally complete Jolie’s impossible leading man trifecta (Brad, Johnny and George). Angie’s reps quickly quashed the rumors that she was locked in to star in the adaptation of the “dog’s-eye view” book “The Life and Opinions of Maf the Dog, and of His Friend Marilyn Monroe,” which will tell the story of the couple’s relationship from the view of the Scottish poodle Sinatra gave to Monroe as a gift.
That still got us thinking and scheming, though, about our own dream cast for “Maf.”
Though his singing skills are not exactly up to par, we nominate Zac Efron. He’s got the dreamy quality, the sparkle in his eye and, well, he’s Zac Efron.
If you don’t think Katy Perry has been holding a public audition for this role ever since she broke through with her One of the Boys album, well, you just haven’t been paying attention.
Sammy Davis Jr.
The obvious choice is rapper Kid Cudi, who can not only croon, but who also has the laid-back (okay, perpetually stoned), freewheeling attitude that Sammy D embodied. Plus, his hip-hop skills would totally update the Pack attack.
Bear with us on this one. Though he’s a bit older than the rest of the cast, Benicio Del Toro has the perfect hangdog, devil-may-care attitude for Dino. Plus the obvious age difference between him and Efron would give the flick a postmodern, mind-bender twist.
Though John F. Kennedy’s brother-in-law had a somewhat distinguished career as an actor, he mostly played the role of a professional celebrity later in life. Hence, we suggest Spencer Pratt for the role, because he’s got the looks, the hair, and frankly, he needs the work.
Maf the Dog
Stop blaming Michael Cera for the crash-and-burn of “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” and start thinking of his adorable, perpetually nerve-wracked voice as that of Maf.
C’mon, stranger things have happened. Just ask Dolph Lundgren.