'Fraggle Rock' Movie Goes... 'Edgy'? Here's What Could Make It Work...

The word "edgy" gets tossed around quite often in connection with high profile reboots. There's no question, for instance, that "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight" are "edgier" updates than "Batman & Robin." A more recent example is the announcement of "The Brothers Grimm: Snow White," which also claims to be an "edgy" take on the classic tale — though, in fairness, the Brothers Grimm more or less invented the word. These are "edgy" projects that I can accept.

But is an "edgy" version of "Fraggle Rock" something that anyone wants to see? Apparently, The Weinstein Company thinks so.

"Fraggle Rock" director and writer Cory Edwards took to his blog yesterday to warn his fans that the Weinsteins are searching for a new screenwriter without consulting Edwards. Their one note on his take on the Fraggles? "Not edgy enough." Edwards does not take kindly to this assertion, arguing: "What if 'Toy Story' was edgy? 'Toy Story can be relevant, sharply written and fast paced, but it has a genuine heart and sincere characters. Like 'Toy Story,' Fraggle Rock's success is not only due to its anti-edginess, but in its absolute DEFIANCE of all that is edgy and trendy and pop in this world."

Mr. Edwards, I humbly disagree. Below, find my recommendations for how to make an "edgy" version of "Fraggle Rock" work.

Doozer Disaster:
If the Weinsteins want to go edgy, they may as well go flat-out offensive. The film could open up with a construction accident via the Doozers that prompts a massive dearth of radishes, the worst ecological disaster that Fraggle Rock has ever seen. The remainder of the movie could be spent on the Fraggles trying to fix the problem and get the Doozers to own up their mistake — which, of course, they never do.

Sex, Drugs & Fraggle Rock'n'Roll
If that's a little too "real" for you, how about this: a version of "Fraggle Rock" that highlights the seedy underbelly of the Fraggle community. Our heroes routinely dance their cares away with an extensive drug culture and underground sex network, culminating in the youthful Fraggles' violent uprising against the Eminent and Venerable Council of Sages.

Gorging Too Far
The Gorg trio of King, Queen and Junior are always trying to capture Fraggles, but what would happen if they actually succeeded in their efforts? Let's explore that option in a "Fraggle Rock" movie with a story akin to "Hostel," an uninterrupted 90-minute torture porn fest — with puppets! Heck, if Edwards isn't on board, kick him off the project and get Eli Roth on the phone.

"Twilight" Rock
Mokey finds herself torn between two different lovers — Gobo, the guitar-playing Fraggle who suddenly sparkles in the sunlight and feasts on blood, and Wembley, a Fraggle who looks absolutely divine without a shirt on (if you're into that extraordinarily hairy sort of look). A major divide amongst the world's female population promptly occurs forming two camps: Team Gobo (aka Gobo Girls) and Team Wembley (aka the Wesembley Line). Which side are you on?

Zombies
Yeah, okay, this is getting stupid. A "Fraggle Rock" movie should not be edgy. It should capture the spirit of the original — fun, sincere and filled with joy. My recommendation to The Weinstein Company is this: if you want to make "Fraggle Rock" edgy, either hire Bono and The Edge to help out with the score (not my first choice, but it's better than some of the other conceivable options) or hand the franchise's rights over to someone else — because clearly, you just don't get it.

Tell us how you would make "edgy" and "Fraggle Rock" work in the same sentence in the comments and on Twitter!

Tags cory edwards, fraggle rock