Welcome to Gore Girls! MTV contributor Terri Schwartz doesn't know crap about the horror genre, and she's volunteered to be our Movies Blog guinea pig. She has a good guide too. Fellow contributor Jenni Miller is a bonafide horror enthusiast, and she's willing to walk Terri through her formative experiences with blood, guts, monsters and maniacs. Together, this dynamic duo are horror's own odd couple, THE GORE GIRLS!!! Good luck Terri... you're definitely going to need it.
This week, Gore Girls Jenni and Terri decided to tackle director Kevin Tenney's "Night of the Demons." This 1988 horror flick -- a fertile time for the genre, depending on your tastes -- plays like cautionary tale for those who would rather avoid entanglements with the underworld. On Halloween night, 10 teens decide it would be a good idea to stage a seance in an abandoned funeral parlor which happens to be built on cursed ground. Not. Smart. Let's see what the Gore Girls thought of it....
Terri: You said this was a movie you used to watch all the time when you were younger. What did you think after rewatching it?
Jenni: Well, no. I remember catching pieces of it on cable, specifically the scene of Angela’s dance. I was really into her dance after the seance, where she's trying to seduce the guy by dancing around all gothy to Bauhaus! And I also remembered distinctly the scene where the other girl, Suzanne, presses the lipstick into her breast.
Terri: That was SO WEIRD. But of course my mind immediately jumped to "what prop did they use"?
Jenni: Did you know that Angela lives to survive and is in all the sequels?!
Terri: Yes! I read that. My question for you is: what did you read into the final scene? With the crotchety old man from the beginning being fed razor apple pie by his wife?
Jenni: She hates him. She was all, enjoy, b--ch.
Terri: But the scene was so separate from the rest of the film.
Jenni: Yeah, I have no idea why that was in there. I thought Angela and Suzanne were an interesting pair, because Angela is the "freak" and Suzanne is the "slut" and they were both the antiheroines. They basically started the whole thing. They got possessed and then passed it on through kissing and sex. And also, what is up with the one African-American guy who's like, My dad's a preacher!
Terri: Well it was he and the virgin who survived, so I think that's horror-film preaching to the extreme.
Jenni: Yeah. Good point. They were both annoying. I'd have rather partied with Angela.
Terri: They really were. I was just going to say Angela was the one I liked best. I think the best line in the film was when Helen and Rodger were walking back the next morning after surviving a demon possessing and killing their friends to have the old man be like, "Partying all night, you tramps" or whatever variation of that it was.
Jenni: Oh yeah. That old guy! What a scamp.
Terri: He learned his lesson! Trying to kill kids with razor-filled apples on Halloween. Where's his holiday spirit!
Jenni: Was that a big fear when you were growing up? It was such a "thing" when I was. Like, parents would check their kids' candy.
Terri: Hmm, not so much in my house. But that was probably because I was half way through my candy before they could even look at it.
Terri: Also, whenever I throw parties I am definitely going to find a friend with a great ass and have her distract some convenience store salesmen so I can get all the supplies I need. What a good plan!
Jenni: And the heroine -- could you be MORE obvious with an Alice in Wonderland costume?
Terri: No. The answer to that is no.
Jenni: What did you think of Suzanne's obsession with makeup and how when she's having sex with that creep she says, "Don't look at me" and then pokes his eyes out? Her whole thing was, "Look at me!" even in the convenience store when she is distracting the clerks by bending over.
Terri: I thought it was interesting that it was through the mirror -- something she always carried around -- that the demon was able to get them. Once again I'd say it's a typical horror-film reprimand/warning against being slutty and image-obsessed. I mean, she was the first one to be possessed, and I think it was because she had her mouth open putting on lipstick in her compact mirror.
Jenni: Oh, true! Good point! I didn't remember that detail. So basically, you've got two annoying characters who survive. Everyone who has sex doesn't. It's made most obvious by the fact that the demon is transmitted through kissing (with bloody results!) and sex. It was too long for what it was, and I probably wouldn't watch it again, but I enjoyed revisiting it.
Terri: Moral of the story: don't have sex on Halloween... especially in demon-possessed houses.
Jenni: I mean, you could turn it on at a Halloween party! Especially in freaking funeral homes where the guy used to schtup the dead bodies and then someone killed himself and the rest of his family.
Terri: I watched this one at midnight with the lights on and it actually freaked me out!
Terri: Maybe because I am too big of a sissy and have been watching them during the day is why the Gore Girls films haven't been freaking me out
Jenni: That's ok I'm sure the filmmakers would appreciate it.
Terri: But I liked it. I thought it was good fun; nothing too special, but definitely worth a viewing if you are hanging out with friends, and perfect for Halloween.
Jenni: I can't believe they are remaking this.
Terri: I hope they make the demon a little more terrifying.
Jenni: WIth Edward Furlong and Shannon Elizabeth, no less. And 11 producers.
Terri: That's what every film needs. 11 producers. Shannon Elizabeth better be playing Angela.
Jenni: And one of the writers wrote one of the most recent Argento flicks, which was SUCH POOP.
Jenni: So did the other guy. They collaborated with Dario, I guess.
Terri: Well I won't lie, I don't have high hopes for a remake.
Jenni: They also wrote "The Toolbox Murders," directed by "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" helmer Tobe Hooper. I'll have to check that out, if only for Tobe.
Jenni: Wow, the writers of the remake are really purveyors of crap.
Terri: I haven't heard of that or him. Remaking cult films is never a good idea. It's their poor quality that makes them so great.
Jenni: They're like a dynamic duo of crap horror. "Crocodile 2: Death Swamp."
Terri: A Gore Girls movie would be the ultimate hit. From our critical analysis we would be the ultimate horror film
Terri: And then we could work on Halloween: The Musical.
Jenni: Watch out, Hollywood. We are coming for YOU.