The advice printed on these posters for "The Cabin in the Woods," an upcoming horror flick directed by Drew Goddard and written by Goddard and Joss Whedon ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer" TV series) is not of the "good" variety. In fact, if you've seen even one horror movie in your life, then you know that heeding these words will likely lead you to a gruesome, untimely death.
"If you hear a strange sound outside... have sex." Seriously? Ever hear of this dude named Jason? Big guy, scary, wears a hockey mask. Always carries around a filthy teenager-carving machete. Yeah, that sound is probably him. So don't incite his anger if you like to keep your blood inside your body. Hit the jump for two more equally ill-advised posters.
Thanks guys, but I'll pass on the advice. I will happily have the crap scared out of me on February 5, 2010, when "The Cabin in the Woods" hits theaters!
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