By Gil Kaufman
There are a lot of roles we could see Britney Spears playing in remakes of classic movies that should never be remade, like Molly Ringwald's snooty character in "The Breakfast Club" or even the Natalie Wood slot in "Rebel Without a Cause." Some might quibble that Russ Meyer's 1965 cult-classic jiggle-fest "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" is not on par with those cinema icons (though plenty would argue otherwise, including yours truly). But there's a longstanding rumor that just won't go away that says Quentin Tarantino is excited about the prospect of casting Spears in his remake of "Pussycat." Let's just say we're not lining up for tickets just yet.
See, Tarantino is currently occupied with his work on a re-imagining of "The Dirty Dozen" called "Inglorious Bastards" — other projects aren't likely to be high on his list of priorities for a couple of years. On top of that, when MTV News reporter Larry Carroll asked the director about the remake at Sundance, he responded, "That's complete bullsh--."
Still, the rumor lives on in the tabloids. According to England's Daily Telegraph, Tarantino has reportedly zeroed in on Spears to play killer lesbian stripper Varla (famously played by the ultra-busty Tura Satana in the original) in the touching tale of three Sapphic pole dancers who go wilding in the desert and hold a woman hostage as they try to separate an old man from his cash.
As Varla, Spears would murder the woman's boyfriend and "have sex scenes with another girls before the drama ends in a bloodbath," the Telegraph reports. It also reports that Tarantino is in discussions with unnamed Hollywood stars to take the roles of the other two strippers.
"Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She's delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around," an unnamed source told the paper. "It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."
Aside from a single starring role in the 2002 flop "Crossroads," cameos in "Austin Powers: Goldmember" and "Longshot," and a two-episode arc on "How I Met Your Mother" last season, Spears' acting résumé is a bit thin, to say the least. That, of course, is not a problem if you've ever seen the original.
But given her attempts to get her career, and life, back on track over the past six months by leaving her tabloid exploits behind, hooking up with Tarantino for this role would be an odd choice. Then again, given the long lead time on most Tarantino projects, by the time it actually starts filming — if it actually starts filming — she just might be on top again, and it wouldn't really matter.